


The Croation Sensation Humiliation

by Hardykat



Category: 30 Seconds to Mars
Genre: Gen, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-19
Updated: 2013-09-19
Packaged: 2017-12-27 02:24:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/973172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hardykat/pseuds/Hardykat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The resident asshole of the Mars Message Board gets O-W-N-E-D!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Story idea is mine. Story timeline is set back in March of 2007, during Taste of Chaos. 30STM is owned by the band members and Virgin Records. The Croatian Sensation aka Ved is based on a former user of the old Mars message board. Also, this was started before Matt left the band. So for the story, he’s still in.

**Part 1:**

            Once upon a time, there was a boy named Ved. He was a fan of one of the best bands in the world: 30 Seconds to Mars. He even claimed to know Tomo, the guitarist of the group. Yet this callous boy would bad mouth Tomo to anyone that would listen. Why? Who knows. In real life he was insignificant, so he had to make himself seem important. That’s how he became known on the Mars message board as The Croatian Sensation, the snarkiest son of a bitch to ever wield a keyboard. He would use his razor sharp prose to cut down any and all poor souls that dared get in his way. Especially newbies. Newbies were his favorite targets. If the “joined” date was after August 2005, he would slay them without mercy. To a few on the Mars board, he was a God, but to a growing mass, he was a menace that needed to be taken down.

            Ideas begin to form. Some thought by telling the mod what was going on that might stop him. Unfortunately, the mod had become so bogged down in keeping the site and message board running that he didn’t have time to police the place. And to top it off, he was one of the many that LIKED The Croatian Sensation. He even TOLD the demon boy himself about all the complaints that he was getting because of him.

            “These fuckers just don’t know.” TCS scoffed before falling into a fit of laughter.

            Oh yes, he was laughing on the outside. But on the inside his little demented brain was churning out even more sinister ways to get back at the “fags and fat whiny Jared-obsessed bitches” on the board. They will pay…and pay they did.

            The Croatian Sensation, along with his strongest allies, ran the greatest electronic siege a message board has ever witness. No one was spared mercy. Newbies even veteran fans that became fed up with TCS were slaughtered like turkeys on Thanksgiving. Pretty soon the only reason any 30STM fan would go over to the Mars board would be to commit internetz suicide.

           

            That was not what 30 Seconds to Mars wanted…or needed….

 

            Jared, Shannon, Tomo and Matt were aware of what was going on. In fact they were informed at almost every venue they played.

            Survivors would tell of grizzly tales scare tactics, death threats and verbal beatdowns. The few that fought back showed their battle gained scars and contempt for a place once called home. But what was even scarier was the group that had grown to hate 30. They had come to the conclusion that the band just didn’t care anymore. The group of ex-fans threw down their Mars Army and Echelon jackets and spat on the 30 name, crying the war cry of “Sellout!”

_“30 Seconds to Mars don’t need their fans anymore now that they’re famous.”  “Jared’s so wrapped up in himself that he’s forgotten that without the Echelon he would still be a b-list actor.” “A Beautiful Lie is a letdown to the fans that were there from the beginning.”_

            So was it true? Did 30 Seconds to Mars outgrow its fans? Did the fans have a legit reason to hate them? Who will stop the terror known as The Croatian Sensation?

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please see notes on Part 1.

**Part 2**

30 Seconds to Mars’ Tour Bus:

            The guys finally get on the bus after the meet and greet with the fans. No matter how tired the guys are after they performed they make time to hang out with them.

            “Alright, Bus Driver! Let’s get this motherfucker moving!” Jared says as he gets on the bus.

            Shannon smirks as heads for his bunk for some much needed rest. Jared stays upfront. Matt and Tomo go to the common area where the TV, game systems and laptops are kept. Matt starts up the PS2 before plopping down on the couch. Tomo sits down at the table where the laptop is located. He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a note that a fan had given him and asked that he read it in private.

            Matt sees the paper then smirks.  “A love note from a fan?”

            Tomo chuckles as he unfolds it. “Why should Jared get all the groupies?”

            “I heard that!” Jared shouts toward the back of the bus.

            “HEY! I’m trying to sleep here!” Shannon growls at his younger brother.

            Matt and Tomo glance at one another before snickering.

            “That goes for you fuckers too.”

            The guitarist and bassist flip off the drummer before going to their individual tasks.

  _Jared, Shannon, Matt and Tomo,_

_I know you have a lot of things going on right now, but I want to address an issue with the dysfunctional family you call Echelon and the Mars Army. Especially about what goes on with the 30STM Message Board. Khamelon told us about his run in with Tomo. Although we were warned of the boards being taken away if we didn’t cut out the irrelevant crap, there are some that are not taking this threat seriously._

_Veda aka “The Croatian Sensation” is one of them. In a thread called  “LOL.. <3” he told the original poster that he hopes that they die in a car crash. He’s the resident asshole and sometimes you would expect a smartass comment from him. I called him on it and told him that it was wrong to say that no matter if he was joking or not. From there he tried to verbally attack me. _

Tomo’s brown eyes turn to burning embers at the mention of The Croatian Sensation. The little fucker’s name tends to pop up when there is trouble on the Mars message board. He remembers hearing that his guy claimed to know his brother.

_I’m not trying to kiss ass here, but I shouldn’t have to go to my favorite band’s message board and fight a bunch of bullies who can’t hang in real life but think they’re “da bomb” on a keyboard. Or get attacked at a concert by other members from this board. I’ve been to other boards and have never had to go through something like this. The Mars board in its present state does not represent the band AT ALL!_

_I know you probably hear this a lot but…anyway, I thought I would let you know what’s going on._

_One of your loyal Mars Army Soldiers_

            By now, Tomo is way passed annoyed. Matt looks away from his game only to find a disgusted look on his friend’s face.

            “What happened?” he asks in concern. He puts his game on pause then moves over to the table. “Dude, you okay? You look like you’re about to commit murder.”

            Tomo hands Matt the letter. Matt skims over it.

            “Oh, this douche again.” Matt concludes after reading it. He puts the letter down on the table then goes back to his game.

            “Yeah.” Tomo snorts in contempt. “That douche again.”  
            “He’s just some punk kid trying to piss off the world. Don’t waste your brain cells getting upset over it.”

            “I’m not.”

            Matt raises an eyebrow. “You sure?” He smirks.

            Eye roll. Exasperated sigh. Matt chuckles.

            “Don’t you find it annoying that his name has been coming up a lot lately?”

            “Yeah.” Matt doesn’t look away from his game.  “Especially since you roughed up that other kid and threatened to shut the board down.”

            “I didn’t rough him up.” Tomo replies. “We had a deep conversation.”  
            “So deep that he sobered up from his one man alcohol party.”

            “HEY!” Shannon’s irritated voice filter in. “Could you turn down the volume on the bed time story?”

            “We’re not even talking that loud!” Matt calls back. “Go to sleep, grouchy ass.”

            “I would if you two losers would shut up.” Shannon grumbles.

            Tomo and Matt do a unison eye roll, however nothing else is said. Matt gets lost into his video game. Tomo grabs a t-shirt and heads for the bathroom. Several minutes later he emerges back into the common area in his sleep wear: A black t-shirt and boxers.  When he goes to retrieve his letter, he sees that Jared has taken Matt’s place on the couch and that his letter is next to him.

            “Why are you letting this punk get to you?” Jared asks Tomo after seeing him.

            “I’m not.”

            “Suuurrreee.”

            “Well I though we had the site made for our fans to get together, not to be bullied. When was the last time you were on the message board?”

            Jared hesitates. When _was_ the last time?

            “I don’t know, Tomo. Probably a few weeks ago. I just skimmed over it. I wasn’t really looking for anything particular.”

            Tomo sits down next to Jared. “Fans have been coming up to Shan, Matt and I telling us how bad that place is. It’s just the internet. I get that. But if this place is supposed to be our official site and represent us, then it’s doing a shitty job.”

            “Geez.” Jared chuckles. “I didn’t know that you were so passionate.”

            Tomo’s brown eyes narrow in annoyance.

            “Geez, Jared, I didn’t know that you _weren’t_.”

            “Hey…what the fuck was that all about?”

            “Dude, you’re one that said that you only skimmed the message boards and that was a few weeks ago. Are you too wrapped up in this fame game to fucking realize what’s going on?”

            The blue pools that are Jared’s eyes grow cold. Tomo must have a death wish. How can he sit there and say that?

            “What the hell, Tomislav!?!” he spits out.

            “Must be true since you’re pitching a bitch about it.” Tomo fires back.

            “Fuck you!”

            “Not in this or any other life time.”

            “Come on!” Matt whines from his bunk.

            Both Tomo and Jared glance toward the bunks. Tense silence looms in the air. A couple of minutes pass by before Tomo stands up.

            “Don’t you owe me an apology?” Jared says as Tomo walks toward the bunks.

            “I’ll let you know when I wake up.” Tomo responds without stopping or looking in Jared’s direction.

            There are a lot of people out there that think the band doesn’t care about its fans. In a way, Jared’s reaction to the board situation makes it seem that way. Once upon a time Tomo was a fan. He still is. Jared can brush this off all he wants. 30 Seconds to Mars is like family and if some immature douche bag is going to challenge that then Tomo’s going to be the one to answer.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please see notes in Part 1.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: TCS= The Croatian Sensation Ved=TCS=The Croatian Sensation

**Part 3**

_Suburb USA, 3:15pm:_

            “Buddha for Mary” yells through the ear buds. Sneaker covered feet pound the pavement heading homebound. Add a black hoodie and baggy jeans and you have a bad ass on patrol. Ved aka “The Croatian Sensation” is heading home after a crazy day. All he wants to do now is forget about it and relax. Usually relaxing revolves around who he can terrorize on the Mars Boards. A sinister smirk appears on his pimpled face as he thinks back to the newbie he sent wailing for the hills in terror. Are they crazy? No one is good enough to take him on. And they better recognize that fact!

            TCS is so consumed in his self appraisal that he doesn’t notice the black van rolling toward him. When he stops at the corner, two figures clad in black jump out and grab him. TCS instantly starts to struggle, but they’re stronger than he and he’s tossed into the van with ease. Once the package is delivered the figures jump back into the van then it speeds around the corner out of sight. On the sidewalk is Ved’s I-pod, “Buddha for Mary” still blasting through the ear buds.

            “Wakey, wakey dumbass.”

            The ice cold water starts Ved so bad that he almost jumps out of his seat. Well, he would have if he had not been tied down to it. He succeeds, however, in tipping the chair backwards, crash landing back first into the concrete. He grunts out a profanity as the pain spreads over his back. His memory comes to him in pieces. He remembers being grabbed and pulled into a truck or van. He also remembers punching someone or something. After that it gets fuzzy.

            “What the fuck?” he growls out. Ved turns his head to the right then left. No one.

“Hey faggot! Where are you?”

            “Oh that’s real cute.” A voice replies. “I bet your mother loves that mouth.”

            Ved lifts his head to see a person dressed in all white straddle the chair then sit on his legs. A Peirrot mask stares back at him.  Before he could protest, a super soaker is aimed right at his face.

            “So this is what the famous Croatian Sensation looks like.” The person says sarcastically. “What a skinny little fucker he is.”

            That’s not the voice he heard earlier. This one is female. So it’s two of them, he thinks. No matter. Both of them will get their asses kicked once he gets free.

            Ved struggles against his restraints, trying to shake off his attacker. That earns him a wet, sticky blast to the face. Ugh! What is that stuff, his mind screams while his face forms a disgusted grimace. Whatever that is, it smells like rotting eggs and fish. And it creeps him out the longer it stays on his skin.

            “You feel like causing trouble today?”

            Footsteps approach Ved from the left then stop right at his head.  He turns to see a pair of scuffed up red/white Adidas. There’s the other bitch.

            “He asked you a question.”

            TCS gets blasted with another mist of the stinky liquid.

            “Speak monkey!”

            “Fuck y-“

            This time he gets sprayed directly in the mouth. Ved coughs, spits, shake his head-anything to get rid of the stench and the horrible taste. His eyes water and his stomach churn when some of it did manage to go down his throat.

            “Pick him up.”

            The weight on his legs disappears then he is roughly lifted into a sitting position.

            “Maybe we should dump this piece of trash into a dumpster.” The female says. “He’ll fit right in.”

            “You’re not putting me anywhere, you fucking bitch!!” Ved’s shrill bounce off the walls.

            A hard slap to the back of his head has him seeing stars.

            “Who said you could talk?”

            “Go to Hell.”

            “You first.”

            The Croatian Sensation’s chair is again leaned backwards. His natural instinct is to jump and brace for a fall. A shadow looms over his left side. He tries to look at the person but a tug on his hair makes him look forward.

            “It’s people like you that makes it hard for people like us to be accepted.” is growled into his ear. “What makes you better than any one else? NOTHING! You’re pathetic.”

            Ved lets out a cocky snort. “Your girl thought I was the shit after I put my dick in her mouth.”

            A swift kick to the nuts sends Ved flying backwards to the ground. He rolls side to side and moans in agony as stars explode in his head and pain spreads over his crotch like wildfire.

            “Idiot! Does everything have to be a goddamned joke to you?” the female yells.

            A sigh comes from the male. “Now I have to pick him up again.”

            “Sorry, but he pissed me off.”

            Ved is once again pulled up to a seated position.

            “Blast him in the face again.”

            “My pleasure.”

            By the time the hood is placed over his head, Ved’s face and the front of his shirt is soaked with the sticky, stinky liquid. He puts up a curse word-filled protest as he is dragged across the ground. When the destination is finally reached, the chair is harshly dropped on all four legs then turned around. The hood is then yanked off.

            “I’m gonna kick your ass motherfu-“

            The Croatian Sensation takes a pause. Numerous Pierrot mask stare back at him. The Mars Army…Echelon…all dressed in white. All staring holes into his body. A rat in a room full of cats. His female captor walks past him to blend with the Pierrot mob. Standing behind the group are three figures dressed in black, also wearing masks. Covering the mouths of the mask, however are red scarves and black hood cover their heads.

            “Croatian Sensation,” The voice of Black Pierrot Mask 1 booms through the room. “You are being charged with disorderly conduct and slander against 30 Seconds to Mars as well as to members of the Mars Army and Echelon. How do you plead?”

            “How do I plead?” Ved says in disbelief. “The Mars Army and d Echelon are a fucking joke now anyway. Too many fags and fat bitches obsessing over Jared. They killed it! And 30? Don’t get me started on those fuckers. They sold out when they made ABL. Jared? He’s a little bitch that will bend over for anybody just to make another dollar! He can go to hell too.”

            Those words sent shockwaves of anger throughout the crowd. Some of the Army had to hold back other soldiers. The Croatian Sensation laughs at them, agitating the situation even further. He looks toward the Black Pierrot leaders. Black Pierrot 1 & 2 had the arms of Black Pierrot 3. The Army wasn’t the only ones he had pissed off.

            “Everyone calm down!” Black Pierrot 2 shouts.

            TCS laughs even more. “ None of you sorry ass losers have the balls to take me on. I bet-I know- some of you are from the board. What? Can’t handle me calling your whiny asses out? I hurt your feelings? So what! You’re gonna go bitch to 30? Like they care! They’re too busy fucking each other to notice!”

            Black Pierrot 1 is glad that his mask and scarf is hiding his agitation from the Mars Board Terror. Balls this kid has, however brains seems to be lacking. He whispers to Black Pierrot 3. He responds by passing a small silver object to him. Black Pierrot 1 then jumps off the platform. The sea of soldiers part to make a path right to TCS. He randomly chooses 2 soldiers from the crowd the three of them walk right up to the prisoner.

            “Croatian Sensation, you are hereby sentenced to having your dignity stripped completely away. You will be blackballed from any and all 30 Seconds to Mars events as well as shunned by the Mars Army and Echelon.” Black Pierrot 1 announces. “Any last words?”

            “Yeah.” Ved looks right into the eyes of Black Pierrot 1 .He puts on an arrogant smile as he lifts his middle finger. “Iscjelivati moj magarac.”

            “Not today or any other, my friend.” Black Pierrot 1 returns a smug look as he shows him the clippers he had been given earlier. “Odrzavat se njemu dolje”

            The two chosen Soldiers hold and secure TCS to his chair. While he protest and struggles, Black Pierrot 1 approaches with the clippers. He leans over to his left ear as he puts the clippers to his right and turns them on.

            “By the way,” he whispers in his ear. “Filip says what’s up.”

            Ved’s eyes nearly pop out of their sockets at the realization. A cheer of triumph comes from the Army as chunks of hair drop from TSC’s head. Even the other 2 Black Pierrots have smiles behind their masks. TCS, however, doesn’t make a move out of fear of what will happen to him. Ten minutes later and he is left with the worst haircut in mankind. Black Pierrot 1 beams under his mask, pleased at his (bad) handy work. Without another word, he turns away and goes back to reclaim his spot on the platform. The 2 soldiers rejoin their fellow army members. Once they had left, The Croatian Sensation goes back into “asshole” mode. He glares daggers at the three figures on the platform.

            “Is that all you got?” he barks. “You think cutting my hair will stop me? You’ve done it now, motherfucker! You think I was bad before, just wait until I-“

            “Soldiers! Present Arms!”

            Present arms? TCS is confused now. What the hell did he mean by ‘present arms’?  He soon found out as numerous squirt and water guns and balloons filled with a red substance are aimed right at him. He wrinkles his nose when the stench he encountered earlier floats around him.

            “Ready….”

            “Come on! Dammit, not that shit again!”

            “Aim…”

            “This ain’t funny anymore!”

            “FIRE!!”

            _Suburbs USA, Early morning:_

A black van creeps through the neighborhood. It turns a corner then stops in the middle of the street. Moments later, it speeds away, leaving screeching noises and burnt tire marks in its wake. In the middle of the street is Ved aka The Croatian Sensation, the snarkiest son of a bitch to ever wield a keyboard…covered from head to toe in a red sticky, stinky mess. And he’s still tied to his chair. The turfs of hair that were left on his head had been dyed red from the saturation. He’s gagged with a red scarf and note scribbled in black marker is pinned to his shirt:

                        RIP “THE CROATIAN SENSATION”

                        PROVEHITO IN ALTUM BITCH!!!!!

 


	4. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please see notes in Part 1.

Jared looks up from his Blackberry to see Matt, Shannon and Tomo join him at the table.

            “Jesus!” he cringes when sees the cut under Shannon’s right eye. “What happened to you?’

            “We were playing basketball and Tomo got me with his elbow.” Shannon tells him. “It’s all good. I still have perfect vision.”

            “I leave my brother with you two and you try to kill him. Thanks guys.”

            Matt’s response is to roll his eyes and Tomo’s is to flip Jared off while smiling.

            “Whatever.” Jared laughs.

            “Less talk, more food. I’m starving.” Matt picks up a menu and starts looking through it. Shannon looks over his shoulder. While they are occupied, Jared turns his attention to Tomo.

            “Look about last time-“

            “Hey, it’s okay. I was frustrated. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

            “Yeah, but you’re right. I need to pay more attention. I went to the board. It’s really in bad shape.”

            Tomo smiles. “I see it improving in the next few weeks.”

            “You do?” Jared inquires. “You know something the rest of us don’t?”

            Tomo picks up a menu. “Let’s just say that our dysfunctional family is going to be functioning a little better now.”

            Jared gives the guitarist a lingering gaze but doesn’t ask anymore questions. Probably will be best to wait and see.

 

**THE END**


End file.
